Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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