i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
