You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
