She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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