im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
