omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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