How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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