I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
