You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
