i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
