I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
