I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
