Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize