K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
