is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
