I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
