I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My breasts were aching with rage.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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