so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
