wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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