All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
