i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
