So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
