I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
