were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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