so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
