There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize