Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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