Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
