he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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