I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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