Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
