you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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