i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
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