just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
