I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize