weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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