Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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