there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
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The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
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It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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