Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
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He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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