Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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