talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
