At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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