Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize