i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
