so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...