Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic