im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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