Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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