I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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