No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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