My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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