dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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