I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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