That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
