her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
