It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think people are normalizing furries
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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