Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
