so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize