Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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