dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You dont lie about slip and slides
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
