does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
