Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
