I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
