??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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